Sober Fun? What's that?

What a night, what a last few days. Not even sure where to start. When you have years of pent up emotions and feeling, where do you even begin?

With the acknowledgment that you should probably take your intake interview over because you really didn't tell the truth... you know, the "painstaking" truth?

Or that you finally met with your sponsor and all you did was talk, no blabber, like an idiot? And really wasn't able to look her in the eye without feeling uncomfortable? (I am just waiting for her to turn out like every other "friend" I had...trust issues, but I'll save that for another day).

Or that you had a wedding reception to go to, and when you were there didn't want to drink, but the whole time you were getting ready, that's all you were thinking about?

I don't know about all of that, but one thing I do know is that I don't feel fun anymore. Maybe it was because I didn't really know a lot of people at the reception. Maybe it was because I was there with my kids too. Or maybe, no truly because it was the first wedding that I hadn't been drinking/drunk at for YEARS. Like 13 years. I hadn't danced sober for 13 years. Alcohol is a great "bringer together-er." You sit down at your dinner table, and don't know someone? No big deal, after a few drinks, they are your new best friends. Being there without my "social armor" was odd. Is this what 33 feels like? Either I am not fun anymore, or my "fun" was never really fun. We left at 10 pm, using the kids as an excuse. But to be honest, even if they weren't there I would have left then. Earlier even. H was dancing with some little girls she had met, and I wanted to let her have fun, so stayed a bit longer.

I need to figure out what sober fun is. Someone said "Do things you like". Problem is, I don't really know what I like anymore. Every social event revolved around drinking in one way or another. I guess I try new things?? Hmm, what can I try today?