Down in the dumps.

I am down in the dumps. Call it a pity party, sitting in my pity pot- whatever. Whatever it is, I am in it. Just a bummer of a day, but yes, I am still sober. Had a great time at my AA meeting last night. My husband is out of town, but I don't think that is it.

Nothing has happened to specifically get me down, but I am. Drinking is not an option, and I really haven't even desired it. I have noticed though, that my "hole" is feeling pretty empty. You know, that "hole" that you try to fill?

No alcohol, but I have kind of replaced it with food. I guess better than shopping, or gambling- but I am gaining weight, feeling unattractive, and sad. I even bought a pack of cigarettes today.

I don't smoke.

How do you search for something when you don't even know what you are looking for?